Trangender
There are many conflicting voices about transgender. Debates rage with emotion from the gender critical feminist determined to reject transsexual sexuality to masculine disbelief and religious voices that believe God never made mistakes in identifying ones sex. I was not sure of my own understanding until I met Rosemary.
Like it or not, socially we separate boys from girls at birth. We reinforce and impose an identity on children and demand conformity. For most of us this isn’t an issue. Sport is played, for the most part, in single sex teams as boys don’t compete against girls and vice versa. We have separate toilets in restaurants and public conveniences. When filling in forms we identify as either male or female. But what of those who don’t?
Rosemary conformed for four decades as Peter until the day she stood on the top of a reservoir looking down into the long cascade of water wanting to fall with it. To lean over the hundred foot drop would wash away all the turmoil and torment of bursting out of her male body suit to become a woman.
There is much research into how we form our identity. Sociologists and psychologists unpick our very fabric of being, showing how we form community and connect in family, church, schools and the workplace so that we know who we are and how we relate to one another.
The anguish of Rosemary speaking out, telling her partner of 20 years, her mother, her church and work colleagues that her whole life felt like a living lie; to alter forty years of male/female constructs, expectations, and dreams would take determination, courage and confidence in her emerging woman.
Due to laws that protect human rights and new proposed gender recognition laws, is society becoming more tolerant of differences? Is it recognising that whilst we are all interconnected in many ways are we also appreciating gender variance and divergence? Is there space for transgender in society? Can we welcome Peter transitioning into Rosemary? Can we give space in our hearts and minds and adjust all our social programming to watch a man become a woman and fully accept her without questioning her gender and her newly formed sexuality? How do we relearn how to relate to someone who changes sides?
Rosemary decided that she was willing to take the risk; an uncertain leap into the love and embracing warmth of humanity was surely better than diving into a cold and certain tragic end. Courage filled her heart telling her to choose life, to choose a precarious journey, a complex plan of transformation. Rosemary’s story will be shared with her community in Harrogate, her voice heard, as she becomes her woman. Will Harrogate embrace her?
Jo-Ann Hughes December 2018